What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize
