I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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