So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
