Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
