this boner is exhausting
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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