WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
