awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
