You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize
