Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
