Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
