is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
is wine microwaveable?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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