Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
