Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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