just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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