It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We left the knife in your bed.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
