Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I am midnight drunk by noon
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Randomize
