I think my vagina is haunted
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
