You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
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