remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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