He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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