See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
