help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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