It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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