her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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