Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
