I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
