Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
