If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
