Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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