Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize
