Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
