Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
