Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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