i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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