woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
It's never too late to be topless.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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