i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
