i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
