When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
