we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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