They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Vodka?
Forever.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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