OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
