And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
