Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Can Purell be used as lube?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
