I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
