I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
