hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
