Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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