I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
