just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
