Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
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