id be glad to
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
