hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
