YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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