Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
