she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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