Quick, to the slutcave!
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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